SikkCreationz

 I'm trying to come up with fantastic ideas for my tattoo. It's a videogame/cartoon sleeve with my favorite characters. Now my problem isn't exactly how to go about it it's more or less what styles. I want the top half to be darker and the bottom of my sleeve to look like all the color drained off the top half into the bottom. So here is the general sketch idea i had for the top half and my tattoo artist suggests "trash polka" as a style. Any and every suggestion is welcome It's gonna be on me forever... I can't even think of a good background.. ART BLOCK NUUU

                                                                      ~Seasons Greetings my friends!~

I'm offering commissions to people who genuinely like art that is made with love, time and effort.  I charge $50 an piece because I put at least 5 hours into it. I want to make sure it is done to the best of my ability!  If you are interested please message me here Thank you very much! No negative comments please!

Well first off I am a 22 year old female who loves all things geeky and nerdy. I always have. I have a strong love for art and music. For as long as I can remember I have loved to be creative. It is a way for me to escape. You see I have the disorder known as Bi-Polar II. That is also coupled with social anxiety and I have issues with my nerves. I am medicated for this and it has not been easy to get to where I am. There is still much work to do. As I have said art/music is a get away. Gaming is another passion of mine. I will tell you a bit about my life. I was 14 years old when I found out I was pregnant. At this time I was not diagnosed yet. The BPD made the pregnancy harder on me then expected because they thought it was hormones.. I however knew different. I knew people did not normally feel like someone had shit in their soul and feel like dirt daily. When I had my beautiful daughter I became ill. I had to be air lifted to the children's hospital because my heart was acting up and they where afraid I would die. I was also afraid I would die. To ask your mother if you will be okay and she can honestly give you no answer.. That is terrifying. Well after this whole thing my mother had ended up with temp custody of my daughter incase anything had happened to me. To this date my mom still cares for my girl. I am close enough now that I can visit frequently and be a mom as much as possible. But lefts jump back a bit..

I became homeless. My mom did not understand what i was going through and seemed to almost deny that the BPD was what was making me act this way. I lived 6 months two times in my life essentially on the streets. No job, no money for food or meds. I was a mess. I had taken to drinking.. At the point where the people I thought where my friends .. At the point where they had thrown out all my possessions.. and stole anything worth anything.. I knew something had to change. I had a backpack with a few items in it and that was it. I couch surfed until I could get help from social assistance. I struggled for a long time. Trying to get on track. I stopped drinking completely. I took meds to try to help my BPD (only now am I on a combination that somewhat works..) and I got myself a place to stay. That was interesting. I was scared because where I lived.. I was being harassed and threatened, Regardless of me keeping to myself .. I still got in trouble that I did not have any part in. I moved back to where my family lived. Near then but not with them. My "room mate" ended up kicking me out when I JUST paid for a months rent (all i had).. I had no place to go. But I had started "seeing" this lovely man (whom I have been with for almost 3 years now.. ) and he offered me to stay with him. I had no choice.. But it all worked out for the best to be honest. He has been my rock this whole time. He is helpful and supportive. He actually cares and tries to help. This is my version of happy.. I cannot ever be "happy" because there is a constant underlying of sadness/hurt and i become so anxious sometimes i want to tear out of my own skin.

I have been working on getting healthy. I take my meds, i eat as healthy as i can (i have a very VERY bad stomach issues. i can barley eat anything without feeling super sick or needing a bathroom) and I try as hard as I can to continue on this path. I feel okay.. I have many MANY downs and a few ups. But it is okay. I would rather this then anyone I know.

So as I said, Art/music/gaming are my escapes. As you can see I have much I would want to escape from. I had always been a weird kid. But you know I don't mind that at all now. It's kind of cool because when you DO connect with someone. You know it is special and real.

I used to play Bass guitar. A LOT. But I had that stolen from me too. Let me tell you there is NOTHING like plucking those stings and hearing that deep sound come from the amp. <3

So I have talked about the BPD and anxiety disorder. I also am in the middle of trying to figure out and pinpoint where this chronic pain is coming from. I currently will be heading for xrays and blood work. The dr's assume that it has something to do with nerve damage. Because my spine looked "fine" .. We'll see won't we? Might be nice to have a day where my entire body (physically and mentally) did not feel like a basket of dicks..

All the aliments aside. Life isn't so bad. I mean I have people who love me. I have people I love. I have passions and loves for hobbies I have. Did I mention I love to bake/cook? Yeah I rock at that. Basically I am writing this because I am not ashamed anymore to let people know I have these illnesses.. I am still a GOOD person. A caring person who wants nothing more then to help anyone in anyway I can. If you know me you know that much is true.

I suppose this is more of a rant then anything at this point. I am not defined my this illness. I have troubles doing things sure but I try to work through it. I really do. The social anxiety is hard. You know when you go to the store and leave in a puddle of sweat practically hyperventilation cuz you took too long to count the change and had to say a few words to someone? Haha fun times am I right?

Right now in my life .. At this exact moment.. Writing this is like a therapy. I feel better but at the same time I feel like I will be wrongfully judged. But I feel that is human. Always afraid to be judged.

Anyways I would love to hear from you guys. I want to know.. Does anyone out there know these feels? If so take comfort in this.. You are NOT alone. You never where.. From my sad story I hope you can see. Things get better. Things look up even if it doesn't seem like it. You can find your own personal brand of happy.. Just because it doesn't fit someone elses standards of happy doesn't mean it isn't right for you. You do you. You be happy how YOU feel is fit for YOU. The anxiety.. It never really goes away I am sad to say. But it does however get easier as you find ways to combat it. I like to have headphones in at the store now. Gives me something better to do while frantically searching for the items I need so I can leave haha. Just go in focused with what you need and keep that task in your mind until you leave. It helps.

Good luck everyone. If you need someone to talk to .. I am here. <3

 I heard about this from VenneccaBlind and it is held by saniika ( Original post link )

Joining in... For the first time :3
Follow the steps below and fill your form out at the end.

Step 1
Make a post in your dA journal (please include this manual - I won’t grant any wishes, if I see no manual). The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
If you wish for real-life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

Step 2
Surf around your friends list (or friends friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:
If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.
You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.
There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

Step 3
The list:  (In no particular order)
1. I would very much like new art supplies. I struggle with mats to make my art. Some professional stuff would be lovely. I have a huge wishlist on amazon I will be linking if anyone wants to get me some of those supplies <3
2. I am currently a hardcore gamer (of sorts) and I use a toshiba laptop to play. I would love a new pc that can handle the games I prefer to play (WoW, Guild Wars 2, ESO.. Ect..)
3. People to commission me. I love creating art from peoples ideas. I currently have no job (chronic illnesses suck ass..)
4. New Ink, I am addicted to tattoos and I would LOVE to get a new tatt. It's been almost 3 years.
5. Some new games for my wii/3ds to play. New as in new to me
6. Money for clothing. I have gained wight due to meds and I now have BARELY any clothing that fits. I legit have 2 pairs of wearable pants..>.> It would be nice to have options again.
7. I think it might be rad to have someone draw ME all cartoony and as a vampire..
8. Gems.. GEMS FOR GUILD WARS. There happens to be so many unique and cute things in the gem store I want.. BADLY..
9. Honestly would like to take a trip to see VenneccaBlind .. I love her and I have yet to meet her. I consider her one of my very best friends.. I would LOVE to meet her finally.
10. Last but not least.. I would absolutely enjoy comic books. I have a love for them and their art. I am REALLY looking for Darkchylde comics but I love DC/Marvel (obviously) so anything would be great. Maybe even a suggestion as to where to get free comics online (Physical copies rock but I can do with digital for sure!)

If I need to be contacted for anything my Email is sikkcreationz@gmail.com and if you would like to check out my wishlist on amazon here is that link.. www.amazon.ca/gp/registry/wish…

IF YOU WANT ME TO SEE YOUR LIST BECAUSE YOU LIKE MY ART PLEASE COMMENT OR EMAIL ME! I WANT TO SEE YOUR LIST! I WOULD LOVE TO GRANT SOME WISHES IF I CAN!!!!! Please don't feel shy. Don't feel like you are bugging me. Don't feel like I am too busy. I love you. I want you to talk to me.


~Wishes Granted~
Fanfic for Cherry!

 

Pandas for Nobody